2009
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Virgin Verulum Victory
SJFCC vs Nick Button XI – Verulum School, Thursday May 14.
The Mighty Fishers: 123 for 9 from 20 overs, Nick Button XI: 45 all out in 14.2 overs.
Quotes Of The Day: “Don’t worry, I had my hand on it all the time.” Anil.
Dawko, on seeing Si return from the crease to the boundary: ”Why’s he coming back? I think his bat must be broken. It’s not the end of the over.” It was. He hadn’t. It’s called ‘retiring’.
“That was the wrong shot” (Anon), as Anil was bowled.
Chris: “I played the anchor innings.” Yes, Chris, of course you did. ‘W’ anyone?
Chris: “Watch me run Dave out this week. I’ve been dying to do it for years.”
Dave, on being ‘terminated’ by Chris: “What dashed bad luck. I do hope that Christopher does not blame himself as that unfortunate incident was clearly of my own doing.”
Phil (the voice of reason): “Dave was probably asleep from watching Chris bat; that’s how he ran him out.”
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Keith Gets Out of His Box
SJFCC vs St Albans II – Clarence Park, Sunday May 2.
Quotes Of The Day: Keith, on being asked why he had two boxes in his kit-bag: “Well, you just accumulate them, don’t you.” Err, no, Keith – most of us find just the one is plenty.
Bungle, on being out having tried to hoik everything towards the leg side: “I’ve had this terrible head cold all week and can’t hit anything on the off side.” So that’ll be the same head cold you must have had for the last 15 years, then.
Early contender for Quote Of The Season:
A young lad called Ryan came along to our last net session of the winter a few days before this game. He had never played cricket before in his life. He had neither bowled a single ball nor wielded a bat. On seeing Chris ‘bat’ at the far end of the net and, remember, this is before Ryan has literally even picked up a ball, he said: “Cor, he’s rubbish isn’t he, he keeps missing it.” And who are we to argue with the objective view of a novice?
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The One Where Bungle Got A Run
2007-07-17. Won by (about) 25 runs By Matt King SJFCC vs CRABTREE
The Mighty Fishers: 128 for 3 from 20 overs, Crabtree: c. 103 for 7’ish from 20 overs.
1) Dave, “Oh, yes I do agree, Mr Umpire, you are quite within your rights to call that ball a wide. I shall endevour to bowl more accurately in future. I do thank you for bringing this matter to my attention so promptly.”
2) Chris (on taking over the scoring from Reevo), “You can tell he’s a maths teacher, he’s used the pye symbol instead of a double ‘t’. Hmmm, he should have used the pie symbol for Bungle.”
3) Bungle (in a show of captain-like encouragement and support to King The Younger before he bowled the final over), “Remember, you can only lose it for us from here.”
The Short One With Swingers
2007-07-19. Won by 9 wickets By Matt King SJFCC vs KILLIGREW
Killigrew: All out for 15 from 10.1 overs, The Mighty Fishers: 16 for 1 from 4.3 overs.
Chris (having received a telephone call some two and a half hours earlier, batted, done the scoring, fielded for ten overs, eaten sausage & chips and sat in the pub for an hour) “I’ve got to go back to work now. Someone called to say they could smell gas, might be an emergency”.
The One In The Dark vs Keith
2007-08-16. Won by (c.) 42 runs By Matt King SJFCC vs Generics
The Mighty Fishers: 149 for 5 from 20 overs, Generics: 107 (+byes) for 8 from 20 overs.
Anil (on watching his opening partner and the three subsequent bowlers all take a wicket) -“I’m the only **** here who hasn’t got a wicket”
Matt – “Those last five words were superfluous.”
The One With Dropped Balls
2007-06-28. Won by 31 runs By Matt King SJFCC vs ST ALBANS DIOCESE
The Mighty Fishers: 142 for 4 from 20 overs, St Albans Diocese: 111 for 7 from 20 overs.
Don’t worry, they’ll never catch it. Oh.
The One Where Magnet Got 49
2007-09-16. Won by 4 wickets By Dave Boxer SJFCC vs Washington CC
The Mighty Fishers: 148 for 6 from 30.5 overs; Washington CC: 146 all out from 37.2 overs
‘For f**k sake Magnet, hit the f**king ball or get the f**k out’ – entire Fishers line-up on the boundary.
‘I’ve just had a hallucination – I could have sworn I just saw Magnet crash a cover drive for four’ – Walmsleyeyeyeyeyeyey after witnessing Magnet’s first attacking shot of the day, two-and-a-half hours into his innings.
‘You looked like an epileptic frog’ – Andy to Dave on his unsuccessful attempt at a catch (which was bloody difficult)
‘How much do we owe you guys for the game – will 49 quid cover it?’ – Oppo player taking piss out of Magnet. Good man.
The One With The Century
2007-08-12. Drew By Matt King SJFCC vs Hackney Grasshoppers (at Highgate)
The Mighty Fishers: 230 for 7 from 43.4 overs (dec.), Grasshoppers: 153 for 6 from 39 overs.
“Everything I do, I do it for you” – Dawko
The One With Rainy Run Outs
2007-07-25. Won by 49 runs By Matt King SJFCC vs KIMPTON
The Mighty Fishers: 124 for 6 from 16 overs, Kimpton: All out for 75 from 12.3 overs.
Bungle: “We’ve done well even without the fat b**tard”
Chris (aside): “Yeh, well we’ve got plenty of others”
The One With The Jelly Beans
2007-08-02. Won by 78 runs By Matt King SJFCC vs Jack of Diamonds
The Mighty Fishers: 138 for 5 from 20 overs, Jack of Diamonds: 60 for 6 from 20 overs.
“I ‘ate f*ckin’ cricket” – Andy H on seeing others score a fair few after his own dismissal.
Commenting on the gazelle-like pairing of Herbert and Williams at the crease and their reluctance to run a (slow) single:
“Run you fat ****” – Andy H
“And you too, Bungle” – Matt
“For a moment there I thought I was in Snatch” – Andy H
“I love sine waves.” – Dawko
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