The One With The Jelly Beans

2007-08-02. Won by 78 runs 

By Matt King

SJFCC vs Jack of Diamonds 

The Mighty Fishers: 138 for 5 from 20 overs, Jack of Diamonds: 60 for 6 from 20 overs. 

The omens for the day were good when three positive things happened before the game: 

1) Andrew Watson became the first ever Fisher’s player (well, probably) to actually fill in a membership form and pay up front before even taking to the field. 

2) King the Elder and his packed lunch were both on time. 

3) Bungle stood in the same giant pile of dog sh*t twice. Steaming, smelly and not nice at all nice to be around………and the turd was almost as bad. 

Si and Dawko opened while Matt gave Andrew W the traditional Fisher’s welcome by clipping a ball into his groin in the nets. Dawko (out-scoring Si!) was first man out, caught in the over in which he would have retired. Matt came in at no.3 and scored 14 (for those watching in black and white, that’s ‘fourteen’) in his first four balls. This may not be that unusual for a proper batsman, but…………..anyway, normal service was resumed and a string of eight singles followed on his way to his first ever (sad, isn’t it?) Fisher’s retirement on 25. 

Meanwhile Si was stumped on 19 and Andrew W scored his first ever runs for Fishers with a straight drive for 4. Bungle and Andrew then had a ‘who can hit the biggest 6 into the nets’ competition – (thankfully, the nets had been recently vacated. Also, in an effort to reduce the carbon footprint following recent clubhouse damage, the scoreboard lights had been turned off too) – before falling on 19 and 15 respectively with the former being out to a well taken falling catch in mad cow corner. 

Dave scored a quick-fire 14 off five balls and, along with Chris, brought the innings to a close on 138. 

Having placed the necessary jelly beans around the popping crease, Anil ‘Big Break’ Virgo opened the bowling for Fishers and took a wicket in each of his two overs. Dave followed Anil from the Trebor Bassett Stand end and opened up with a fiery maiden. With slightly less pace, but significant impact, Malcolm took a double wicket maiden at the other end. Off their combined four overs only one run was scored from the bat and three wickets taken. 

Andy H took the final wicket of the game when Dawko took his second tidy catch of the evening. He was partnered at the other end by Magnet. At the end of Chris’s first over it was summarised as “Unplayable”. That summary was provided courtesy of Chris and not by the batsman who was relaxing in an armchair at the crease smoking a cigar. 

By the end of the innings the match was safe and Matt bowled to the (now trademark) Fishers’ defensive field of four slips, two gullies and a leg slip, but to no avail. 

It was another good day at the office for Fishers. 

Man of the Match: TBC 

Quotes Of The Harris: 

“I ‘ate f*ckin’ cricket” – Andy H on seeing others score a fair few after his own dismissal. 

Commenting on the gazelle-like pairing of Herbert and Williams at the crease and their reluctance to run a (slow) single: 

“Run you fat ****” – Andy H 

“And you too, Bungle” – Matt 

“For a moment there I thought I was in Snatch” – Andy H 

“I love sine waves.” – Dawko