SJFCC 72 for 9 (all out)  off 12 overs LOST by 113 runs against Kimpton (home) 185 for 7 off 20 overs (scorecard here)

Wed July 13th, 2011 – Match Reporter: Dave Boxer

In the words of Elton John, let’s not beat around the bush. Fishers took a good old-fashioned pasting this evening by a very accomplished Kimpton side.

The signs were ominous from the start – only eight Fishers players were present and, arguably, correct, at the start, with Bungle and Dawko held up.

Despite the lack of numbers, Fishers began promisingly, with Boxer removing the opener leg before for a duck with the fourth ball of the innings.

Virji continued the momentum, cunningly bowling a rank full toss that was in no way a no-ball, which the other opener skied to Boxer at fine leg, who did his best to drop it before clinging on. Eight for two, easy.

Then things took a turn for the worse. Lincoln and Reynolds had evidently eaten their Weetabix, and began slapping the ball harder than Mike Tyson on a quiet night in with Robin Givens.

Like Fishers players’ ringpieces after a Watson barbeque, the runs were flowing, and even with Dawko and Bungle back in the fold, protecting the alarmingly short boundaries was proving difficult.

A glimmer of light appeared when Reevo comprehensively cleaned up Lincoln for 34, and with Cooke chopping on from King and Virji calmly snaffling a swirling catch off Bungle to dismiss Sharpe, Fishers looked to be back on track.

Unfortunately, Reynolds had other ideas. Taking the bowling to the cleaners more times than a Bill Clinton suit after a meeting with Monica Lewinsky, he racked up an unbeaten 65, which, with the help of a quickfire 24 from Castle, set Fishers a demanding total of 187 to win.

The best that can be said of the run chase is that it started well, when Dawko hoiked a four off the first ball. Three balls later, he was unlucky to be caught off a well-struck shot to cover, and the demise had begun.

Summers belted some classy fours, in amongst some rather camp-looking reverse sweep efforts, before being bowled by a low long-hop for 15. In anger, he smashed the stumps with his bat, which everyone concurred was absolutely unforgivable. He should have used his feet.

But worse was to come. After Egre and Watson fell for 8 and 10 respectively (Watson threatening to go home and ‘beat the missus‘), a batting collapse of seismic proportions ensued. Wickets tumbled faster than a whippet being kicked down an escalator.

From 52 for 4, Fishers found themselves skittled for a meagre 73, thanks to a combination of accurate bowling, flying catches, poor shot selection and comical run outs.

Dejected and deflated, Fishers traipsed off to the pub to drown their sorrows and reflect on what could have been…had we had 11 players… all of whom were better than the opposition’s.

Man of the match: Si – for having the good sense not to turn up.