SJFCC V The Diocese

SJFCC  V The Diocese of St Albans 15th May 2013 – By Bungle

Diocese 141 for about 17 and Fishers 142 for about 6 (scorecard to come)

The Annual Diocese game is one of the oldest regular Fishers fixtures, rumour has it that it dates back to the time before Kingy’s stand up routine.

The sky was darker than the average inhabitant of Gene Hunts car boot on a Friday night patrol and wetter than Watsons chin when his dinners ready.

The Diocese arrived with 3 Fishermen bolstering their squad, unfortunately Simon Bates who would have been the 4th was called away at the last minute to help DLT with an alibi. With a few late drop outs they were reduced to 7 men.

Anil who was unavailable due to last minute advice meeting with some “associates” in Rajasthan pulled out before the game, fortunately however Fishers managed to scrape to 11 after Gene Hunt was suspended for slapping the wrong Somalian Refugee and Gareth the St Albans overseas all-rounder, had been demoted to play for Fishers due to recent allegations of Bread Theft from Greggs.

Having gallantly lost the toss Bungle walked back to inform Fishers that they would be fielding first.

The ever dangerous Will Gibbs walked out to open the batting with the Man who grew up watching Boycott and thinking, “he’s a bit aggressive” Dave Hughes.

Gibbs and the Human Go Slower Stripe got off to a steady start fending off some hostile pace from Boxer and unpredictable in swingers from Bungle. Boxer finally beat Wills defence with Summers catching the nick behind picking up his first wicket of the day. Hughes was joined at the crease by another Fishers refugee, Simon Wakeling, who after witnessing the horrors of the indoor season opted to play against us rather than with us. He fell shortly after for 5 after driving a ball from Boxer into the hands of Bungle who surprisingly held on to it, but only because Boxer told him to.

Si Marriot replaced Bungle after his first 4 over spell (4-2-3-0), who came off to give others a go, not because he is too fat and unfit to bowl a full spell. Si bowled 5 solid overs and was unlucky not to get a wicket (5-0-14-0).

Bob replaced Simon at 4 and came to face Boxer. Bob stood there, waiting for his first ball, a long standing Fisherman facing a guy who he once employed, a guy who he once captained for his old team, a guy who once considered him a mentor. Would he be friendly and give him a few to get his eye in? The initial look of friendly hope soon went as Bob clipped a quick one to Gareth in the Gully who took a very unfishers-like reaction catch to be dismissed for a Duck.

Next ball Boxer picked up his 4th wicket with “Bob” Hoskins taking a difficult high catch at Square Leg.

Watching this mini collapse from the other end was Dave “The Snooze” Hughes who was solidly defending anything that came his way.

At the relief of the Diocese, Boxer finally finished his spell with figures of (7-1-20-4)

Ross Watson took over bowling a tighter than his dads cricket boot budget, spell of (4-0-12-0)

Kingy relieved Si from the Road end adamant that he could show Bungle and Si how to take a wicket at the then wicketless end. After a few overs of his “Pfeiffer” patented Flan he bowled a proper ball allowing “I haven’t caught this much since my last massage parlour raid” Summers to take his second catch. Kingy finished with figures of (4-1-19-1)

Gareth “I didn’t steal the bread honest guv’nor” Oakley came on from the Pavilion end and bowled an increasingly tight spell of 4 overs keeping Summers guessing by genuine movement rather than the usual Fishers right arm, who knows where it’s going style of grenade launching. The highlight was clean bowling Hughes after a 2 day 6 hour marathon innings of 28.

Tatlock replaced King with some right arm sliders (feet not ball) struggling to get a grip on the increasing wet crease. Finishing with figures of (3-0-18-0)

Robin – The Diplomat- Smith came on to replace Gareth with his own brand of spin…….. Will who had come back in to bat in place of his missing comrades, had by then larruped his way to 47, including facing 4 overs from Gareth, couldn’t survive the session of Dolly Mixtures bowled by Robin and chipped one to Bungle who, scared of the heckling that would follow, held on to it as if it were a Qtr Cheese. Robin finished with figures of (3-0-28-1)

Watson Snr bowled the final over from the Road End, wanting to give himself a chance to have a decent bat, he kindly let the Diocese slap his balls around.  (1-0-10-0)

The Diocese posted a very respectable score of 141 on a rain interrupted muddy wicket.

This gave Fishers 50 minutes to bat before the tea break. Robin and Hoskins opened and looked steady until the rain interrupted once more. Robin managing a couple of well timed 4’s. Unfortunately after the break the wicket slowed and both openers fell in quick succession.

The Diocese Father, Son opening bowling partnership caused issues early on. Cottee Junior unlucky to go wicketless and Cottee Senior tearing through the top order with his unpredictable grenades.

Gareth and Watson replaced the openers with a ying/yang – Culture and Skill / Brute force and ignorance approach. Watson played and missed, played and slapped and played and missed again to get out for 6. Si joined Gareth at the crease and, like Gareth, began to make things easy. Gareth showed great concentration facing balls that took 3 weeks longer to reach him than he is used to.

Bob came on hungry to avenge his duck, unfortunately his bowling style was not suited to the bog that had become the wicket and he slipped over first ball, 1 match two first balls to forget. After a stroke of genius Bob came round the wicket, enabling him to land where no one else had before giving him back his much needed grip. After watching some of the Fishermen slip around I wondered why no one else had thought of that before!.

After a cracking tea prepared by St Albans Cricket club and helped by our token Tea ladies (Watson Snr and Summers) we continued our chase. One thing that is still unexplained is the source of the strange red discharge on the back of Summers’ trousers. It wasn’t there before he played wifey with Watson in the Kitchen, but it was definitely there after.

Si and Gareth continued their partnership until 5pm when SI and Jules mysteriously had to leave early together.

Summers joined Gareth at the crease hoping to finally score the runs he always scores for other teams, on days no one see’s him…..

It was around this time that Robin allegedly heckled one of the Diocese players, whilst in the outfield as a substitute fielder. At the time of going to press he was unavailable for comment and the recipient has not been seen since. One can only assume it was the height of witticism and meant merely as friendly encouragement….

Gareth was finally caught in the deep by Cottee junior off of the bowling of Gibbs for a match winning 62.

Kingy went out to help guide us home with 10 overs to spare. Summers remained Not out 20 and Kingy Not Out 4.


[box type=”info”] Man of the Match: Boxer for his cracking Bowling performance.

Champagne Moment: Robin for turning up, also for taking over from Chris Williams as the new ball magnet.[/box]

A special thanks goes out to Dave Hughes and Simon Wakeling who offered to play for the oppo to help make a game of it and for Gareth who managed to go from top level Cricket to our level and fit in perfectly.