Hemel Town 2nd XI – Sunday 24 May 2015

On an overcast and damp day akin to Watson’s mood when his Mrs is late with his dinner, Fishers captain Bungle won the most important part of the match, the Toss.

Having elected to bowl first Fishers took the field and eagerly awaited Hemel’s opening bats.

We were greeted by two guys who between them had less years’ experience between them than Vaughan’s last replacement hip.

Boxer opened from the road end (Being a 1:2 gradient slope downhill it wasn’t much of a surprise on why he insisted on that end). After bowling a spell of 4 overs 2 maidens 1 for 4, of tight bowling, he broke down with a back injury. Doctors have since reported that due to his weedy frame, he is unable to support his new beard leading to potential long term damage to the spine.

Captain Bungle, with 2 gammy legs and 10 stone of excess weight opened from the Uphill, into the wind, Canal end. After a good spell of swing bowling finally clean bowled their opening left hander. Just as he thought it’s time for a well earned rest, before I need to come back on and bully Hoskins Jnr, he was forced to complete his 8 over spell on the bounce due to Streaky’s back injury. He finally finished with very respectable figure of 8 Overs 1 Maiden 1 for 16.

Nurse replaced Boxer who was rapidly looking like a shoe in for the England Ladies Disabled Synchronised swimming team. Bowling from the Road End bowled a very tight first 6 over spell against settled batsmen and was unlucky not to have taken a wicket.

Nick Gurney who briefly transferred up to Fishers from the lowly Abbots Langley 1st XI replaced Bungle from the Canal End. With a Rotund physique that was akin to Bungles he bowled 8 overs of spin which was unfortunately too good for the Hemel Batsmen and too good for the Fishers slip cordon. Having bowled a spell worthy of a Michelle Pfeiffer he unluckily finished with figures of 8 overs no maidens 2 for 35.

Minchin came on from the Road end to replace Nurse just in time for the 20 overs drinks break.

It would be good to note that at this Point Hemel were 50 for 2 from 20…..

Having bowled 8 solid overs against a strong batting attack which included resident Fishers Ringer and the Talented half of the Hoskins Duo, Charlie. Nigel “Mincing” Minchin ended with figures of 8 overs 0 Maidens 1 for 54.

Nurse came back on to replace Gurney and bowled 2 wonderful overs picking up 2 quick wickets in the process. Nursey completed his spell and ended with figures of 8 overs 0 maidens 2 for 32

Andy Mercer replaced Minchin from the Road End, bowling his first over for 15 years (Which incidentally was the average age of the oppo!). Unfortunately after tweaking a muscle in the outfield a few overs prior to him bowling (Next time you’ll remember to use WD40 before a game), he bowled like a man who hadn’t bowled for 15 overs and gave the Talented Mr Hoskins a full dose of Buffett bowling helping him on the way to an 18 ball 50. Andy ended up with Figures wider than Bambi’s eyes were the night of the forest fire…… 2 over 0 maidens 0 for 30.

Bambi completed the innings from the Canal end. Unfortunately for Bambi his bowled 2 good overs against 2 strong league batsmen who were teeing off. He finished the Hemel innings with 2 overs 0 maidens 0 for 22

A special mention to Vaughan who took over the keeping job following the weekend keeper “A*I* V*R*I” who bottled it due to not wanting to bat against Charlie. For a guy who first kept Wicket during the industrial revolution, he showed decent agility and made very few errors.

Due to Hemel’s rampage in the second 20 they ended up with a respectable total in excess of 200. (Unfortunately at the time of going to press our resident website gimp hasn’t put the full scorecard online)

After a cracking Tea the new Fishers opening Partnership of Gurney and Cormack eagerly padded up and walked to the crease. Keith giggling like a school girl with the prospect of opening with another genuine opener, rather than the usual space filler he watches get out cheaply week after week).

Gurney got off to a positive start and Keith true to form batted like a lump of iron, Solid and dull.

Having batted well to 17 Gurney finally got out. Keith standing at the other end on a mammoth 2 not out wondered how an aggressive and flamboyant batsmen ever snuck in to the Openers club.

Shortly afterwards Keith doubled his score with a driven 2 and got out for 4.

The rest of the innings was fairly uneventful, unless you were a Hemel Town Bowler.

Ramsey in at 3 hit a well-timed drive for 4, which unfortunately was his only scoring shot before he was out.

Watson in at 4 hit 2 runs then tried to reverse sweep through a strong slip cordon.  Unsurprisingly he was caught out.

Hoskins Snr in at 5 (or as Charlie likes to think of him as “The Talentless member of the Hoskins duo) grafted away for a 1k ball 8.

Minchin in at 6 hung around and hit a mammoth score of 4

Herbert came in at 7 and after hitting 2 4s behind square and a straight driven 4 passed the bowler had a chat with his batting partner Nurse. Both agreed that there was no need for anything rash and no quick singles were to be taken. Unfortunately for Bungle, Nurse had an evil plan akin to those of a dodgy moustachioed cartoon villain from the 1970s (muttering under his breath, I’m the only Fishers captain who will have a 100% win record, referring to his record in the previous season). He proceeded to drive the ball to a fielder, shout for a single luring Bungle down the wicket only to see Nurse standing firm in his crease. Bungle Run out for 13, which was scarily the 2nd top score.

Nurse in at 8 was finally out for 4.

Andy Mercer in only his second innings in 75 years came in at 9 and carried his bat for 0

Vaughan in at 10 batting in his first innings for Fishers made a majestic duck. Welcome to Fishers!

Boxer due in at 11 took one look at the score and claimed his back was so bad he’d now qualify for a blue badge and did not bat.

Fishers ended up losing by approximately 120 runs. Hemel’s Captain Charlie thanked everyone for the net session and ego boost on behalf of his players and said we’re more than welcome to come back anytime and help their players get a confidence boost!

MOM as voted by the 6 people who responded was Bungle for his 8-1-16-1 and 13 runs.