SJFCC vs Kimpton

SJFCC vs Kimpton
2006-08-10. Win by 3 wkts By Matt King

Result: KIMPTON: 129.2 for 7 from 20 overs, The Mighty Fishers: 130 for 7 from 19.5 overs


With Reevo away at the Geoffrey Boycott Forward Defensive Summer School (remedial class) and Martin absent on international ironing duty, Fishers were able to field an above average strength team for this return fixture. Kimpton, you may recall, use the nets next to us at Hatfield Polyversity and we beat them in the inaugural fixture at home in June. A match noteworthy for the hospitalization of Matt The Younger when the Hounslow Boy kept his eye on the ball a bit too literally and thereby failed to take a dramatic caught and bowled.

In his last evening game appearance before emigrating to Fiji (to be closer to the set of Love Island), Dan took up the role of captain. He duly lost the toss, but Fishers feared not, for we knew that our recent investment in two pairs of night vision goggles would pay dividends in the fading August light. Bungle had road tested the equipment on recent ‘adventures’ at night around Nomansland and found them to be most useful in searching for lost dogs (at least I think that’s what he said).

So, with the usual prompt 6.20 start, Fishers took to the field. Malcolm looked an unlikely choice of wicket keeper, but who were we to argue with Dan’s selection.

Andrew and Simon opened the bowling and managed (supported by some gazelle like fielding from Bob and Bungle) to record four straight maidens in a row. It’s strange, but no-one batted an eye-lid at Andrew playing in full top hat and tails (apparently a wedding ‘dare’), then again, Simon sporting a full length white dress and tiara {with Magnet carrying the train to make sure it didn’t tangle with the stumps} did rather deflect the attention).

At 0-0 after four overs, Dan decided to unleash his secret weapons. Disappointingly, though, after Matt K’s and Bungle’s spell the score had moved on to 55-0. Malcolm was given a torrid time behind the stumps. Well, when I say ‘behind’ I mean more like three yards either side of the stumps.


To bring back some semblance of order, Dan called upon the tag team of Hounslow and Hounslow. Adam got a hat-trick with his first three balls, but his brother was bowling terribly. Line and length were all over the place. Still, you’ve got to have some sympathy, haven’t youÖÖ.it can’t be easy bowling in a batting helmet for the first time (doctor’s orders apparently).

Chris bowled a couple of tight overs off both paces of his long run and then the Bob & Malcolm Show swung into full effect with four caught behinds in two overs.

Sadly the weaker remaining bowlers let the side down for the four closing overs and Kimpton ended up at 129.2 for 7. Dan blamed his waywardness on getting sun cream in his eyes (still, if you will ask Bungle to squirt some on your face what do you expect?) and Dave mumbled something about it being an away fixture run up being tampered with.

And so to bat. Simon and Chris opened with all guns blazing. By the end of the eighth over Fishers were on 92-0 with Simon having retired on 29, Andrew retired on 26, Malcolm retired on 27 and Chris 1 not out.

Then something of a collapse. Dave was given out for 12 for ungentlemanly conduct when, going for his third consecutive 6 in as many balls, his bat splintered and speared the fielder at long on in the groin. Matt H (batting in NASA approved protective helmet) was out to a slow left arm slow in fact that the bowler’s zimmer frame had barely passed the popping crease when the ball hit the stumps. Bungle, having missed last week’s match, was keen to make up lost ground. He was out for zero and right back on track for the Ducks Trophy. Matt K lapped himself and, after extensive consultation, the umpires agreed that he had technically run himself out.

Following their good form from last week Adam H and Bob brought the target back within reach as they took their turns at the crease.

After 18 overs Fishers were 107-6 and needing 23 off the final two overs to win. Commeth the hour, commeth the man. Dan stepped to the crease. If ever a captain’s innings was needed it was now. This is the stuff fairytales are made of. The script had surely been written – Captain Dan in his final Thursday match follows recent good form to strike the winning runs?

Dan took his leg stump guard. Not to mark any bat related position, but just to know where to dig two big foot holes for his feet to ensure that they in no way moved and impeded the playing of a shot. He surveyed the field. His forehead glistened in the moonlight. He wiped away a bead of Ambre Solaire and adjusted his night vision goggles. On the boundary Connor was (almost) speechless. Dan glared at the bowler in that ‘do unto me your worst’ way that only he can. The bowler ran in, Dan tightened the grip on his bat and stamped his feet deeper into their trenches. He was bowled middle stump first ball.

Simon returned to the crease and, accompanied by Chris who had stayed steady through all the mayhem around him, they saw Fishers safely to victory. So, with perfect symmetry the opening pair finished the innings – Simon on a cut’n’thrust 51 not out and Chris on a well grafted 2 not out.


Man of the match: Dan – because despite batting and bowling poorly he bought everyone drinks afterwards.


Quote of the match: Christie, on arriving at Wheathampstead at 8.15 and finding the ground empty calling Boxer, “Dave, you won’t believe it; I think I’m the first one here”