Credit Crunch Cricket from Budget-Beating Bittermen

By BitterMatt

In Fishers’ first competitive cup game since 1989 and on the Club’s return to indoor cricket, the six-man team came out convincing winners against Frogmore.

Under the tongue-in-cheek team name of ‘The Bittermen’ (no, not that cheek, Bungle) and resplendent in new, low-wicking, moisture-retaining logo’d shirts (courtesy of Mr Watson, available for £5 – the shirts, not him, that is), the indoor team made quick work of the opposition.

In a display belying their categorisation as ‘veterans’, the Bittermen rolled back the years (and bails) to put in an impressive, all-round performance, despite the usual drop by Anil behind the stumps.

Things got off to a great start when smart work from Captain Caveman resulted in a run-out in the first over. Matt did something similar in the second, although not in such a balletic way as Mr W, and BitterFishers’ tails were up.

Matt bowled a man with his first ball, Julian bowled another to round the innings off and two other men were out somewhere, somehow in-between, but it’s all a bit of blur this indoor cricket lark so I’ve no strong recollection of how they were dispatched. Hang on, hang on, Anil did (to everyone’s amazement) make a smart stumping to go some way to atone for his earlier drop, which I may, or may not, have mentioned previously.

Frogmore 55 all-out from about 8 overs.

Having not been required to bowl, Andrew W opened with ‘I’m captain so I’ll bat first’ Virji. Surprisingly, Anil did not drop his bat as he walked to the crease.

Bittermen looked naturals at this unusual version of the game we know as cricket and scored 19 off the first over and 16 off the second. Apart from the positive and, somewhat surprisingly, intelligent batting, the only other point of note from the early overs was that Andrew hurt his ankle. Again. He tripped on a crease at the crease. Luckily, two lawyers were on hand to instantly sign him up to a ‘no win, no fee’ deal. Where there’s a blame, there’s a claim, apparently, and Andrew looks set to do well out of suing Morrisons for selling all those cakes in the first place.

Mr W then went and sat in a cage. Yes, really. All agreed that it sort of seemed a natural habitat for him. You could actually hear him whimpering like a wounded bear from quite a distance. Genuinely.

In the fourth over, Fistermen surpassed the target set. It was good fun and a game played in the right spirit with friendly opposition. The best news, though, is that now we’ve won our ‘cup qualifier’ and are into the competition proper (as well as the league) the cost per game has dropped to only £6. That’s quite a significant drop. Almost as notable as the one Anil put down in the second over. Have I mentioned that already?

After 32mins on the pitch, the Bittermen then spent double that amount of time in the bar afterwards reflecting on their victory. Although, for legal reasons, I have to make it quite clear that Hughsie went straight home and did not stay one minute longer than necessary.

Thanks to Anil for dropping everything and organising Fishers place in the indoor cups and league. Thanks to Andrew for sorting sponsorship. (I personally would never buy a bath from anyone other than and can state with some confidence that Crosswater are the best makers of bathroom taps around.) And thanks to Dave Hughes for buying all the drinks afterwards.