SJFCC v Pretenders

SJFCC 171 for 9 off 26 overs LOST by 5 runs against Pretenders 176 for 6 off 30 overs (scorecard here)

Napsbury Park, Sunday June 6th 2011 – Match Report: Captain Bungle

Fishers got to try out the new home pitch against an old Rival harking back to the days of The Corridor of Uncertainty. Having had a fantastically hot and Sunny Saturday and predictions of no rain until 10pm Sunday things were looking good. However is as reliable as a Libyan press conference and small showers started before we got to the pitch.

The oppo captain was late and the toss was taken by a stand in (not the sort that Mr Nurse spends most of his career as). Having Won the Toss the Pretenders decided to have a conference call with their delayed Skipper to make a decision. Having decided to bat (for the record Fishers would have bowled first anyway) they confidently padded up.

The Fishers bowling was opened by the familiar Boxer and Walmsley duo which has proved successful so far (well if we ignore the trip to Cockfosters and deny all knowledge of ever being there….). The openers started slowly giving a few close ones through the slips. Andy Watson was unlucky to have taken a pace sideways in the wrong direction as Boxer left off a quick one which was edged for 4. Dave didn’t quite see it the same way. Has Boxer finally got back his old angry man stare…….. A proper blast from the past! Walmsley held up his end with a tight line and great swing.

Mr Marriot came with his boys to watch from the boundary, big shame as the wicket would have suited his bowling perfectly.

About 10 overs in The Pretenders opener “Toney” got settled and began to Tee off. Having seen this Bungle unselfishly decided to change the bowling around a bit and put Ross Watson and Dave Summers in ahead of him (You can’t beat some Cannon fodder).

Ross and Dave had bowled well but their opener was getting a little too settled. Ross bowled good line and length and Summer’s got a decent amount of movement off of the damp spot. Lucky it was well trimmed or his balls might have gotten stuck.

At the 20 over drinks break rain had begun to come down quite hard. It was also a time for a bowling change.

On came bungle from the insane asylum end (They never did realise he has slipped out of his room) with a soapy greasy ball …… Ball 1: Flan, Ball 2: Pie and hit for 4, Ball 3: Shite and hit for 4, Ball 4 Bungle decided to grip the ball harder which saw the ball end up behind mid on! Both teams decided to take an early tea.

Going in at 20.4 Over’s Toney was 82 not out and looking very dangerous.

Tea was not due for another 20 over’s and being the Unfortunate Mrs Bungle to be’s first ever Cricket tea there was a small look of panic as we all ran into the club house hungry. Fortunately Mrs Watson was there to jump in and lend a hand in the preparation and distribution. After a cracking tea (even including some of that nasty vegetarian food for our 2 *Special requirements* players) and Mrs Bungle lacing Toney’s tea with a tranquiliser we went back out to complete the first innings.

Boxer had been out to the wicket with their Skip Mark to have a look. After discussing the options it was decided that the over’s should be reduced. Oppo captain Dave and Bungle agreed 30 over’s for Pretenders and 26 for SJFCC. (Much to the disagreement of the SJFCC Union, The Cricket Union Not Trade, Union. A minors style revolution was attempted and was quickly crushed but a diplomatic Bungle going on record with “It was all Dave’s idea guys!”  Dave being a clear 2 foot taller and far scarier than the C.U.N.T representatives meant a quick and humble retraction.

Coming back on to complete his first over Bungle bowled their opener with one that came in off the seam from off to leg (10% Skill 20% Pitch 70% Mr’s Bungles special tea singled out for Toney)

Bayly came on at the other end and battled hard keeping hold of a wet ball and controlling it with his naturally slingly left arm action. After 3 over’s of wishing he was back in the warm nets of the winter where his left arm swing is deadlier than K.K. Kingy’s “Other” club mates. Ross came back on to assist Bungle and close out the final 6 over’s. Bungle removed Pretenders Stalwart Forester with a slower ball and Ross bowled 3 very tight over’s picking up 2 clean bowled wickets in 2 balls. Hat trick ball…… Although Ross was credited with a Caught and Bowled in the Oppo’s score book he fielded a ball off of his own bowling and facilitated a run out. 3 wickets in 3 balls but no hat trick. A serious case of Jug avoidance that we are hoping his father has re-educated him over.

Pretenders finally finished on 176 – 5 (with one Retiree) from 30 over’s.


Chasing 177 to win from 26 over’s looked like a tall ask in the rain and with a wet wicket. But we had the charismatic opening partnership of Dead Bat McCormack and Greasy Palms Dawkins. On captains orders of play yourself in for 5 over’s then hit out it almost went to plan. Dawko lapped it up hungrily where as Keith Dead Batted the idea and said “No” This led to one of the most unbelievable sights in Fishers history. A high full toss to Dawko lead to:

A)   A Back foot defensive block

B)   A Back foot defensive drive

C)   An almighty 6 pulled over square leg

D)   A soft handed block to gully

E)    A well timed duck and leave

One of the finest non textbook 6’s of Dawko’s career to date was hit leaving all of us on the boundary either gobsmacked or standing to ovation. Dawko finally getting caught out for 12 from 17 balls. “I Ate Kluesener for breakfast” Watson came to the crease and Keith held his end up well grafting to 8 before finally being bowled.  In Keith’s defence he was bating a lot more aggressively than he is normally used to, although anything faster than 1 run every 200 balls is great! Cometh the hour Cometh Mr “No I’m not that Robin Smith !!!!” Robin Smith. One ball later Leaveth the Man for a Duck. In come the Mighty Pythian who also returned to the pavilion for a Duck. Things were beginning to look harrier than Andy Harris’ taste in Thai Ladyboys until Dave Summers came out to stabilise the innings. Dave and Andy started to attack with Watson carrying out an assault on the Pretenders which is banned under the Geneva convention. After bullying their frontline bowlers the Pretenders turned to their Opening batsmen. Us fishers players on the boundary enjoying the fireworks were heard to comment “this will be interesting if he howls like he bats” Off of a long run up he banged in a decent ball which Watson Drove out of the ground. The oppo commented that this was the biggest 6 they had seen hit against them. Now this doesn’t sound like much but these guys were regular whipping boys of the Mighty Christie Phillips who spent many seasons making their bowlers need therapy. By this time he had been out there for almost 12 balls and he was in dire need of medical attention. Things got worse when he over rotated and gave his groin its biggest work out since Mandela had been let out of prison. He finally got caught out due to sheer exhaustion having scored 62 from 33 balls. Summers batted well for 20 of off 22 balls which helped keep us up with the run rate. Fishers legend Walmsley came in, currently the oldest mind and body fishers have to offer, often heard telling us young-uns that he’s been playing longer than we’ve been alive. Going at a rate of 1 a ball and batting very well he had the added pressure of having Bungle come to the crease. This gave him the extra fun of coaching and keeping Bungle from doing something stupid first ball as well has batting under hard conditions. It worked and Bungle hit a very unattractive 17 before being bowled. Boxer replaced Bungle and managed 7 from 8 balls keeping us right on the money with run rate.

It was beginning to rain again and the run rate was tighter than Watson Snr’s trousers

All was not lost though as Walmsley was still there keeping us up with the run rate.

Bayly replaced Dave and managed an entertaining 5 ball duck (Run out). Ross came to the wicket but only faced 1 ball for 0. Walmsley held it together but we couldn’t quite pull it off.

At the end the Union reps smugly pointed out that we would have won if we had 30 over’s not 26!


Champagne Moment: Dawko hitting a full toss for 6 (No really!) Tied with Watson Snr hitting one of the biggest Sixes any of us are ever likely to see.


MOM: Andy Watson for his almost match winning 62