SJFCC V Goodwill
July 22nd 2012, Home
by Special Chief Inspector, Inspector Chief Super, Mission control, Commander Dave Summers
Goodwill: 108 for 8 off 35, Fishers: 110 for 8 of 22.1 – scorecard here
The Sun was shining on a glorious day with Goodwill turning up with 11 players. Unfortunately we had 10 as one member wanted a gold chauffeur driven limo to come pick him up from smackfield. We truly recruited one of the watson’s asylum seekers for the cause.
The Team lined up as Follows.
Nurse – 46, Leo, crazy blue eyes, possibly ginger. Hobbies – learning cricket, speed masturbating/amateur theatrics.
Mini nurse– 12, Size 2 feet, Hobbies – Eating biscuits and Justin Beiber.
Marriott – 41 libra,GSOH, likes beer, art, fine wine and dogging.
Mr Chairman Watson esq – 52, Virgo, likes eating, being aggressive and not appreciating irony.
Summers – 21, Basically a mouthy git who enjoys putting prisoners in the boot and driving over speed bumps at high speed.
D Watson – 21, Leo, likes watching porn and trying to grow a beard.
Bon jovi – 16, cancer, likes playstation, pulling wings off flies and blow drying his hair.
Herbert – 34, the only 30 year old who still has puppy fat and feels he hasn’t finished puberty yet.
Ramsay – 25, Taurus, Likes trotting, eating grass, asking for lifts and doing something with numbers thats so boring i’ve been sick in my mouth thinking about it.
Boxer – 31, Saggitarius, likes kinky midget porn, arson and teaching young girls to drive while he stares down their top.
Ross Watson – 19, Aries, Hobbies – Annoying Mr Watson, Slagging off Mr Watson, Laughing at Mr Watson. I hear he’s now full time at it.
Afnan – Failed to appear.
Onto the Cricket.
Don’t know who won the Toss as i was dropping the kids off at pool. But i was duly told mid wipe that i was keeping wicket and to hurry my fat arse up!
It was Great fishers start with Boxer Speeding in from the Nuthouse End bowling a peach to apparently their best batsmen. He must have been good as normally they fly past the edge. Great caught behind by Summers and for First time since the 2nd gulf war Boxer smiled on the cricket pitch especially when he finished up with a wicket maiden.
Bungled waddled up from the Football Goal end and threw down some Matt king style bungs and then somehow managed to bowl a maiden over. His 2nd Over was classic with an in swinging yorker smashing the stumps and another wicket maiden for fishers.
Boxer and Bungle bowled tight with some good fishers fielding for the first 10 over’s letting only 14 runs pass.
Marriot came on to replace Boxer and started uncharacteristically like bungle bowling with a loose one that the batsmen missed out on. From then on it was super cool stuff with a wicket on his sixth ball, followed by a wicket maiden and another 3 maidens in a row.
Ross Watson replaced Bungle and apparently still drunk gave Goodwills No2 bat some buffet boundaries. A quick drinks break and a mouthful of beer from the visiting harem and he finished the spell but was unlucky and could’ve easily got a few wickets.
Nurse replaced Ross and kept the run rate down and frustrated the Batsmen. Nursey Bowled 5 good overs,picking up 2 wickets for 20 runs smashing middle stump and with a ginger style googly got a bottom edge to the well proportioned athletic keeper.
Bambi replaced Si who finished an excellent spell trotted a few throw downs. Bambers managed not to trip over the crease and in his 2nd over let a ball come out the back of his hand, confused the batsman and hit the stumps. Everybody was surprised including the on looking squirrel mates. He finished 4 over’s 15 for 1.
Bungle came back replacing Nursey and bowled well but dropped a catch that smashed into his bear hands but due to a cake rich diet the excess sugar pushed it out his paw
Boxer finished his spell continuing to peg the batsmen down with some hearty bowling. Mr ‘Pink Cheeked get me a de-fib’ Bungle Bowled their No 7 Bat who was becoming dangerous and smashed the stumps to bits.
Ross ‘Stella Artois’ Watson finished off a good Team effort and left Goodwill 108 for 8 off 35 over’s.
After a great tea, a full belly and one of the Watson clan showing off his sunburn,
Nurse opened with Freddie and with some titanic style hope and nursery style sand wedge swings got off the mark and started to farm the strike for the first few overs. Freddie finnally got to face some bowling and got given given lbw on his second ball for the first duck of the day. Freddie later complained it hit him on the thigh but it was pointed out by the reporting officer that he was the size of Bilbao baggins and that it could’ve hit him on the ear and still be clipping the bails.
Mr Marriott came to the crease and and was in no mood to take prisoners and looked solid. Nursey at the other end was finding it difficult to hit some accurate goodwill bowling and the with a little width attempted a sort of cover drive/bungle slog and spooned it up to mid off for 3.
Andy Watson groaned at Nursey’s catch and put his Mongoose back in the bag as he decided he now had to play a sensible innings. 2 balls later he was Bowled like a tit chopping it on to his stumps for the 2nd Duck of the day.
At this stage the worry lines could be seen on Captain Montague Bungles face for a fishers collapse.
Summers went in with all all the time in the world and Si wondering if he’ll get to bat again with all the wickets falling and fishers 13 for 3.
Some quick hitting and buffet bowling Si and Summers put on a 53 run partnership to take it to 66/3. When things were looking good Summers tried to swoosh a full swinging yorker and completely missed it and saw his stumps fall to bits just like the Conservatives taking his Overtime Away.
Deano Watson came in and i’m sure he thought it was a baseball match with his stance but he managed to clobber a ball straight at square leg and it took a great catch to see him off for the 3rd duck of the day.
Bon Jovi danced in to bat after giving his locks a quick rinse of timotei came in and survived a handful of balls but was caught and bowled for the 4th Duck of the day.
Captain Bungle even more pinked cheeked managed a decent start seeing off some good bowling and knocking over a boundary but was given out LBW down the leg side. In the umpire’s defence he did state that he didn’t know the rules and that you should just hit the bloody thing and stop letting it hit your arse.
Bambi had put his Pads on, with his thigh Guard, his Arm Guard and his Helmet and trotted out like he was off to Basra and faced 2 balls before he was caught behind for ‘Would you believe it’ the 5th Duck of the Day.
Now everybody was worried including Si who in all this time managed what most couldn’t and play some cricket.
Boxer came to the square and stared out the bowler faced off a few balls before he played a great cut shot to get off the mark. Both Boxer and Si played some good solid cricket and knocked up a partnership of 24 which took Fishers to 111 for 8 winning ‘Never in doubt’ by 3 runs.
A great finish for the spectators and Ross Watson who was still asleep happily drunk grateful not having to bat.
MoM – 1st Place -Si for a solid days cricket, 2nd Place -Boxer, for seeing the run chase off and stopping Si getting his 50. 3rd Place – Ducks Hat for doing his job