SJFCC vs Hackney Grasshoppers

SJFCC vs Hackney Grasshoppers
2004-08-15. Win By Dave Boxer

Match report for Sunday August 15th: Hackney Grasshoppers, 213 for 3 from 40 overs; The Mighty Fishers, 215 for 7 from 39.3 overs.


This was an absolutely cracking win; probably the best result and overall performance of the season so far. The oppo are a very good side, mostly comprising members of the Highgate 1sts, who play a high standard of league cricket, so to beat them is an excellent achievement.


In the absence of Chris, who’s off on some dodgy camping holiday in a vain attempt to get himself some poontang, I was handed the captaincy. Being the lazy git I am, I then passed it onto Andy, who promptly strode out to the wicket and lost the toss. We were put into the field.


The portly one decided to open with Sandy Perera and Mark Edwards. Sandy bowled superbly consistently, as usual, giving the batsmen very little chance to get the ball away, and in two spells of bowling, was unlucky not to get any wickets. Mark also bowled well, almost taking a wicket and going for only 20 runs.

Jimmy came on first change and decided it would be a laugh to test Andy’s diving ability by chucking the ball 5 feet wide on numerous occasions. Well, I laughed anyway. The breakthrough came when yours sincerely bolwed their opener with one that cut in on him and went through the gate to take out leg stump. I was ably supported by Bungle, who bowled quick and straight and, although he got a bit tonked in his final couple of overs, did manage to pick up a wicket, with a rank long hop that the batsman tried to twat into cow corner. However, he only managed to bottom edge it onto his stumps.

Best bowling by far came from James Rosson. Bowling 8 overs on the spin, he bowled consistent line and length, posing problems to some very decent batsmen and never letting them settle. His figures of 8 overs for just 32 runs is to be commended.

Boxer then took another wicket, tempting the batsman to drive in the air, stright to James Rosson who took a composed catch.

Towards the end of the innings, Boxer, Bungle and Sandy were all unlucky not to take further wickets, but we settled for restricting them to 213 from their allocated overs.

After a nice spot of tea and a quick look at the Man Utd scum getting beaten on the tele, it was our turn to bat. We opened with the tried and tested partnership of Nick ‘Pugwash’ Perchard and Mark ‘Pat’s evil twin’ Dawkins.

To everyone’s surprise, Dawko suddenly found the confidence he’s been lacking over recent weeks and began getting amongst the bowlers, playing some lovely attacking strokes, some of which even reached the boundary!

Nick began solidly, posing for a good 5 seconds after each forward defensive, aware that any sudden movement might cause his barnet to fall slightly out of place. After a couple of tasty fours, however, he lofted his legendarily bad sweep shot to deep square leg, and we were one down.

Granty was next in, and wasted no time in displaying his trademark flicky leg glances to balls three feet wide of of stump. He made 23 useful runs, mostly in singles, and steadied the innings well. Dawko, meanwhile, was having a great time, spurred on by a massive six and another couple of fours, before eventually holing out for 35.

After Mark Edwards was given out LBW by a very dubious decision from Sailor boy Nick, Sandy played another solid innings, making 22, which included four 4s, before getting a stinker of a delivery that turned and forced an edge to slip.


James Rosson departed cheaply, but then Big Mao came in and this was the beginning of the end for the oppo. Beginning slowly, with a good few singles and the odd 2, Harris played himself in (I’ve heard that about him several times) and then began to open up (and that!) smashing a cople of juicy fours and one massive straight six that cleared the ground. Bungle, meanwhile, had been and gone, and it was left to Jimmy Chennells to support Andy (rather you than me mate) in our quest to reach the target. We were always just slightly behind the run-rate, but Mao and Jim-Bob turned things around, and we suddenly, with 7 or 8 overs to go, realised that the win was on.

Mao had his fair share of luck, being dropped twice, but he earned it, and he deservedly scored the winning runs, with a leg-side four, with just 3 balls remaining. Top performance all round and great result – just shows what we can do when we put our minds to it.




Quote of the day: Probably something that Wayne, our West Indian 11th man who kindly fielded for us, said, although I couldn’t tell you what because I didn’t understand a bloody word that came out of the bloke’s mouth all day!

Cake of the day: the scones and cream.

Man of the match: Everyone played very well, but main contenders were James for outstanding bowling, Sandy for his bowling and batting and Andy. I’m giving the award to Andy, because he played an excellent innings of 51 that ultimately saw us home to victory. So, well down lardarse!