St John Fisher cc V Generics cc

Generics 89 for 9 off 20 overs??

SJFCC 90 for 3 off 14 overs.

Verulamium Park, Upper Pitch, July 15th 2010. – match reporter Mr. Nurse

I mention the upper pitch specifically as I am sure that the lower one didn’t have a large hole 3 inches deep on middle stump half way down the wicket. This wouldn’t normally be a problem, but as halfway down the wicket is where Boxer puts his stock delivery, and where Bungle only seemed capable of putting his deliveries last night, the repairs effected by stand in ( and indeed stand up….but more of this later ) keeper Virji, and wily slow right arm purveyor of old shite that picks up wickets Watson, using topsoil, boulders and badger droppings was much appreciated.

Under lowering skies Bungle put the opposition in, clearly, and masochistically, relishing the idea of facing Sharma in the dark later in the evening. This decision started to look very iffy as aforementioned leader of their pace attack opened their batting and promptly slapped Dave Boxer for 9 runs in his first over. I note that the opposition scorer has named Dave in the scorebook as ‘Tall’. This is an improvement on previous entitlements that have included the affectionate ‘Miserable C***’, so to be described purely for his physical attributes rather than character was a welcome change. ‘Tall’ had the last laugh however as Sharma aimed another slap at an outrageous longhop and played on for 13. Boxer was also unfortunate not to have the other opener caught at square leg, but Nurse was busy chatting to the oppo umpire about pharmaceuticals and was halfway through a Viagra purchase before he noticed the ball. Said batsmen ( Hopely ) proved Hope-less next ball as Boxer cleaned him up for as duck finishing with 2 for 13.

This was fairly indicative of some poor early Fishers Ground fielding (haven’t I read that somewhere before?) and it took a fabulous C & B from Julian to lift the fielding malaise.

Bungle was gifted a wicket by bowling a straight ball to a batsmen who apparently hadn’t held a bat for 15 years and obligingly pushed it so wide of his pad that he was bowled not so much through the gate as up the M1 and Watson Senior had a wicket with his first ball and two in his opening over. The first was his catch from the off. Quite honestly, with Watson in full flight he didn’t even have to call for it, as only Ross would have had any idea how to get out of his way, and by bowling their star bat for 1 with a ball that had dip, turn, flight, guile and very little bounce the writing was on the wall for a low Generics total.

Simon Marriot bowled with his customary accuracy and no little turn, bamboozling not only the batsmen who struggled to lay a bat on him, but also Anil who struggled to lay a glove on him. Anil expressed a wish at the end of the game to start taking some catches for the Fishers behind the wicket; at we all wish him every success for this ambition.

Nurse, not for the first time this season, f*****d with the minds of the batsmen which can be the only explanation for his dross going for only 1 run in his first over. Perhaps they overheard him talking about the Gay Porn director he used to open the batting with. And that’s not a euphemism for anything…alright! )

89 off their 20 was never likely to be enough despite the encroaching gloom and dodgy wicket and our opening partnership was a celebration of different batting styles in pursuit of the 90 we needed to win. Watson senior hit 27 off 24 balls and Chris Ramsey hit…….well nothing really before being bowled for 1. Kingy shared the top score of 27 with Watson with some aggressive, clean hitting including a straight hit that almost went for 6 that non-striker Robin dismissed as ‘Agricultural’. Mind you he had just called Matt a ‘f*****g Muppet’ for running a quick single so by comparison I suppose ‘Agricultural’ was complimentary. Robin’s fine collection of singles shored up the middle order ( not that it needed any shoring up but he did it anyway ) and Simon Marriot’s assured 18 meant that Boxer had cart blanche to come out, and get out, with his trademark lofted drives, which he duly did. 4 and out.

Victory ( by 7 wickets ) came with 6 overs to spare and avenged an early season defeat by the same opposition.