Hot & Sticky

SJFCC 72 for 3 off 13.1 overs WON by 7 wks against Road Runners 71 for all out off 30 overs (scorecard here)

Napsbury Park: July 3rd 2011 – Match Report: Mr Nurse

Although you could be forgiven for thinking that the title of this match report refers to the state of Andrew Watson’s Jock strap after his usual assault on the opposition bowling, or indeed the state of the opposition bowlers generally after the same routine annihilation, the fact that Watson Snr didn’t actually get a bat means it can only refer to the weather which had the ball swinging like a middle aged Radlett housewife.

Another strong Fishers XI (well X to begin with as nobody checked whether Walmsley had said he was coming) took the to field after Bungle lost the toss and the Road Runners skipper took the surprising decision to bat in conditions that were more Nagpur than Napsbury.

The lack of an 11th man meant that Bungles Stepson Ryan was once again press-ganged into service but because he had no appropriate clothing (and couldn’t get any ‘cos his mum got locked out of the house…but that’s another story) we fielded 10 men in white and one Death Metal Emo boy who intimidated the oldies in the oppo not only with his Iron Maiden T- shirt but more specifically with his throwing from the deep which repeatedly sailed over Dawkos head (although that’s not difficult), belied his years and had us wondering if there was anything but spinach growing on the Herbert Allotment.

Bungle and Boxer opened with 5 over spells that were all but unplayable, and Bungle again had the better return with an astonishing 5-3-2-2. Both wickets clean bowled by balls that moved more than the width of the bats that flailed hopelessly around them. Brilliant, Brilliant Bowling.

Dave ‘Streaky’ Boxer was again all pace and aggression but his additional bounce and probing line outside off stump meant that the Batsmen struggled to even lay a bat on him and rode their luck from that end. His 6-2-15-0 are decent figures from a perspective of economy but do not reflect quite how difficult he was to play.

With the Road Runners having scored less than 20 off the first 11 overs, they needed to take some risks against the first change bowlers and duly came completely unstuck.

Nursey bowling from his preferred M25 end got a considerable amount of movement when he bothered to pitch it, and even got a wicket when he didn’t thanks to a tumbling, juggling, 5 times parried effort at fine leg from Boxer that would have had Simon Cowell booking him for the final of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ in the circus skills section. Nursey, incidentally, got in First and booked him for the variety slot in the Potters Bar panto 2011. Another two were clean bowled including one that came in off a good length from 6 inches outside leg to take out the leg stump around the bemused batsman’s legs gave him figures from an unbroken spell of 8-0-16-3.

Meanwhile at the Mental Hospital end, Si played with minds of the opposition, lulling the batsmen waiting in the pavilion into a false sense of security with his flighted but slow turners, and then ‘pinging’ their first ball in so fast they didn’t see it, putting them into such a spin that had the building behind the bowlers arm still been in business, they’d have seen a rush of custom. His 8-0-24-4 and Afnan’s bamboozling final over to pick up the last wicket confirmed that it was a bowlers day and the Road Runners were effectively out of the match unless they could produce a performance similar to their Home game against us, when they’d bowled us out for 75.

There was nothing wrong with this wicket however, and Fishers, opening with Summers and Dawko, set about making short work of the 72 needed off 40 overs.

Dave in particular was in no mood to hang about and thrashed a couple of 4s in his breezy 14, Dawko chuntered and chastised away to himself and the Umpire  about his shot selection and how crap it was in the making of his 29 ball 22 (the umpire agreed) but was nevertheless prospering until making the odd decision to remove his protective headgear and ask the umpire if he wouldn’t mind holding his Helmet. Having got over the suggestive shock of this outrageous request, umpire and spectators alike then watched incredulously as the fresher air clearly went to his head and he flailed several times outside the off stump before the catch that had been offered three times in the over was finally taken.

Olly Bayley made the most of his opportunity at No3 to see us home with 26 not out and Robin opened his innings at No 4 with a ferocious pull to leg off one knee. Unfortunately the only connection was between the ball to his back knee in front of middle stump and Robin has now commissioned Julian to build him a garden pond in which to keep his collection of Ducks.

Fishers got home with 7 wickets and 27 overs to spare, which was useful as the splendid tea manufactured by Mrs Watson and Mrs Bungle (despite catastrophes of electrical supply and exploding tea urns) had turned most of the batting team into walking Jacket potatoes. Even Watson (who’s been referred to as a walking Jacket Potato more than once) couldn’t be bothered to bat.

Many Thanks to the Road Runners, who put up a spirited and good humoured show, for the game and congratulations to Simon Marriot who wins man of the match award for his experienced and deadly accurate bowling, despite the author’s desperation to vote for himself and irritation at not taking a C&B that might have allowed him too.