SJFCC v Roadrunners

SJFCC 78 all out off 18.3 overs.

Roadrunners 51 all out off 21.5 (scorecard here)

The Green, Edlesborough, Sunday May 8th 2011

Match report: Robin Smith, Pictures © A Watson

The omens did not look good on the way to Edlesborough to play the Road Runners.
The beautiful route takes you through a ford replete with many ducks. Despite these omens John ‘Bugle’ Herbert was talking up the Fishers chances saying that we had one of the strongest possible batting lineups. Who would argue against Bungle’s confidence?

One of the first of the Fisher’s team to arrive at the ground was Andy ‘Warney’ Mills. He had not played cricket since 2002 having spent that time cycling to the fixture from Australia. He did claim the last leg of the cycle ride was a short 60 Km sprint from London. Obviously he needs to be educated in the English way and use miles as no-one in England knows how far a Km is or even what a Km might be.

Unfortunately the local parish council of Edlesborough has a ancient by-law stating that the all cricket games must be played on uncovered pitches and the overnight rain had made the pitch softer than Bungle’s belly. This coupled with a strong wind coming directly from behind the bowler’s arm lead to testing batting conditions. Well that is our excuse and we are sticking with it.

The match has been recorded on video by the home team and they are currently negotiating with ITV4 to show the IPL how a real 40 over match is played, not one of these shorter twenty20 games.

Fisher’s lost the toss and were put in to bat by the Road Runners. At this point the opening bat Matt ‘Nav’ King spent the next 10 minutes preparing for his grand entrance from the changing rooms. Having psyched himself up into a berserker like frenzy in the changing room he stormed to the crease took his guard and was promptly given out LBW to the first ball of the match. The duck omens were coming true.

This was the start of a tricky period of play with Fisher’s being reduced to 13 for 5. Sharply turning spin coming downwind and vicious swing coming into the stiff breeze saw Robin ‘Slow’N’Steady’ Smith, Simon ‘Mr Reliable’ Marriot, Adam ‘Snake’ Pythian and Dave ‘Baldrick’ Summers all back in the pavilion. However Dave Summers had a cunning plan; after being caught out he hit the pitch with his bat leaving a large dent on the pitch.

At this point Andy ‘Barbecue’ Watson had arrived having closed his store and telling all his posh customers to ‘F**k orf – I have a cricket match to play’. He came straight into bat and immediately hit his first ball for 6 and the ball ended up in the ancient hedge and was lost. This was followed by two 4’s and with these runs he had successfully doubled the Fisher’s total.

Things were looking better for Fishers and Olly ‘Our Best Leftie’ Bayly smacked a good length ball off his stumps for 4. Sadly he failed to repeat the feat next ball and was bowled.

Some more dogged batting from John ‘Suncream’ Walmsley pushed the score onwards but was given out to a plumb low LBW. This left Watson and Bungle to score what they could but a couple of quick singles saw Watson tire and he was eventually bowled going for another big yahoo. (Never trust a  Saffer to keep accurate records ) John ‘Bungle’ Herbert was last man out leaving Fishers with only 78 runs to defend having scored these from only 18.3 overs.

At this point Fishers got lucky. The tea would not be ready for another 10 minutes so Bungle showed some excellent forward thinking and agreed with the opposing captain that we should bowl for 10 overs until tea was ready. The pitch was drying out quickly under the strong breeze so we needed to bowl as soon as possible. This forward thinking was quite surprising as Bungle only usually thinks forward to his next pie.

What followed next will go down in Fishers legend. Dave ‘Stump Kicker’ Boxer and John Walmsley opened the bowling. They ruthlessly exploited the low bounce of this pitch and the pair removed the top 4 batsmen for only 11 runs. Tea was a much happier affair for Fishers and made better by some excellent home made scones and clotted cream.

After tea Boxer and Walmsley completed their 8 over spells and Boxer ended with an excellent 4 for 13 and Walmsley with 2 for 23 – Walmsley’s first 4 overs were all maidens with one wicket. The highlight wicket was a tumbling catch by Andy Mills.

Could Fishers find the change bowlers to keep the pressure on? This brought Mr Reliable and Baldrick into action. Simon then proceeded to bowl 3 wicket maidens using some low bounce and sharp turn. The last wicket was taken by Dave who sought out the dent he had left after batting causing the ball the sharply cut back and bowl the last batsmen – thus completing his cunning plan.

Fishers then proceeded to have a 5 car victory parade around the small village of Edlesborough whilst looking for the Dunstable cricket club bar. At the bar Bungle was pleased to announce that Fishers are currently unbeaten in weekend fixtures – not bad after the first weekend game of the season. Matt thought that Bungle was the captain and mascot bundled into one person!

How will Anil – the mid-week captain – respond to Bungle’s cruel taunts?

Man of the Match: Mr Boxer