The day Dad took me to the cricket

SJFCC vs Crabtree

30 May 2012 at Harpenden

by Henry aged 8 2/3 (as told to Anil aged 41 and 1/3)

The mighty Fishers: 133 for 5 from 20 overs, Crabtree: 134 for 9 in 20 overs. (scorecard here)

On Thursday my dad took me to watch cricket. He told me that if I went I could have a caburys caramel (there the ones with the tofee tipe center which tastes really nice). He also said if I scord then he would give me £5. He said if I got really good at scoring then the team would pay for me to come along aND score for them evry week. My dads friend (called Anil) said the day fishers pay a nurse to come along is the day he leaves. I think he meant my dad when he said that but i’m not sure – I don’t alws ynderstand what Anil is talking about, I try not to listen to him.
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When we got there daD let Me sit in his Camping chair. It is realy cool as it hAs a top which means you shouldn’t get wet wen it rains. Just before the game starTED it rained. Dad and evryone else ran off and stood under the pavillion. I was left by the side of the pitch. The chair didnt work and I was getting wet until a fat man with a funny voice (I think his name is Adnrew) came and gave me a letter wrapped in plastic which i used as an umbrella. He siad that he had covered it in hard plastic as it was very imprtnat and i mustnt lose it. He said it was a note from his cardboardologist. I don’t know what that means, but it helped keep me dry.
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My dads team they are called Fishers batted first. Dave Hughes batted first. He looks like Anil as he has a beard but he is not brown like Anil. He was rubbish and got out very quickly. I put 6 dots next to his name and then a W. I put a big duck in his score column. A duck is what you get when youre rubbish.
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After Dave a very tall man called malc went in. He was one run better than dave. But he only had four dots next to him. I then had great fun scoring as Andrew (the fat man with the note and funny voice) and another maN caLLED Dave (without beard) started to hit the ball a lot. Dave is a policeman that is a really cool job as Dave said you get to drive very fast without getting into trouble with other police. They both came in without getting out. Dave scored 30 and Andrwe 25, Dave was better as he had a proper bat. Adnrews had a silly pink handle and was short. Dad said it was called a Goose. It didn’t look like one.
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After They came back Ian and John (bungle) went out to bat. They were rubbish too. But at least they scored some runs unlike Dave. I felt sorry for Ian as he couldn’t reach most of the balls he faced beacuse they were so wide.
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Mr. Boxer went in next. I call him Mr. BOxer as I am not aloud to say hiS firST name as he came to teach at MY SChoOL once. He is very tall, but really NICe. He taUght my Brother Olly. Olly said Mr Boxer was funny and everyon liked him. My dads frend Gary (he doesnt play cricket with my dad but he does play cricket for a team called Garden fields) said Mr. Boxer was a MisErble something. I didnt hear exactly what he said as he mumbled it but I know it waS rude as my daD and him laughed for agES aftewwards. This match report is really broing to write. I better get paid for it. I am saving up for some new lego. Olly thinks I should get some FireENGinge lego but I don’t like it as much as him. I want to get anOther lego house bUt they are really expensIVe. I will have to asK dad for £10.
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Andrews son went into bat next. His name is Ross. He is skinny and taller than his DAd. He used his Dads bat with the pink handle. He swung and missed a lot. When he did hit the ball it went a long way. He came in at the end with Anil. Ross got 25 and Anil 8. We scored 133. I think that was very good. My dad cheked mY score book. It all added Up.
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Dad and a man called Robert didn’t bat. Eveyone kept calling Robert golden Arm. I am not sure Why as it didnt look golden. I think that was anther one of their jokes. My daDs friends laughed a lot whilst they were waitng to bat. They wern’t very funny though.
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I didNt do all the Scoring for Crabtree as I neeDed help and they were all talking so I sat and plaYed on my dads phone. I did wach a bit and This is what I saw.
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The man called Bungle got Three wickets. Everyone was very Happy with him, but I did hear Mr. Boxer say something about it not being fair that Bungle got all the wickets wehn he got none as he said Bungle bowled like a very rude word that starts with an S and an H. I think I know why they call him bungle now. It is because when he gets wickets the balls dont bounce. They are what my daD calls full bungs.
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Anil and Ross bowled next. They were really good. Ross was really quick. He got one wicket and so did Anil. He was really cross though as DaVe dropped the ball twice in a row off his bowling. It was a maN wearInG a red helmet. Later in the car Anil was still cross. I wanted to hear him swear but he didn’t. He said he wouldnt do it in front of me as I was too young.
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Robert came onto bowl. He started really well. but then the man who Dave dropped started to hit him alot. Anil got cross again and started shotuing at evryone. I dont think he was cross with Robert though, At the other side my Dad bowled. He was good but he jumped about alot. He ran arounD and did a silly DanCe when he got a wicket. I was really embarrsed. One of the men from the other side aksed if I danced liked that. I just ignored them.
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At the end Anil bowled and got one more wicket. The Men who played for CrabtRee were getTing very excited. They said they needeD 9 runs to win with one oveR (That is 6 balls) to go. The tall maN MalcoM bowled it. He got a wicKet on hIs Thrd ball. ROSs caugt it. It was So exiting. But In the end The man in the red helmet. Hit a four. Evryone from Crabtree started jumping around. Thye had won. EveRYone shook hands and saiD it WAS the best Game They had playED in, We then went down the pub. and Evryone carried on saying how great the game was. It was really boring. 
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Dad gave Anil a lift home. When we got home Dad had a text from Anil. My Dad showeD it to me. It was just one rude word beginning with F but he had put seven U’s in it. Now that was funny.
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Quotes of tHe Day:
ANdrew: Where’s Kingie? Anil did you droP Kingie?
Anil (by text): F*******ck.
Most people to Ian after he faced 6 wides: Ian, If you get out next ball that still counts as a golden duck.
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Dad asked me to pick a man of the match. I asked him Why as we loSt He said I haD to. I think he wanted me to pick him, but I wont. I have chosen DAve SuMmers because he scored the moSt runS and because he is A poliCEman and if you ar not niCe to theM they mite aRResT you.
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Dad also akSed me to pcik the champagnE moment. This means the funnieST or the best part of the gamE. i am going to go with Dave Hughes getting out. That was so funny for me as he did nothing for six balls and then tried to smash the ball passed the boundrey but could only hit it as far as my brother Olly so got caught.