SJFCC vs Mylan

Napsbury, Wed June 21, 2012

by Mr Three Counties

Mylan: 116 for 9 in 20 overs, the mighty Fishers: 95 for 8 from 20 overs – scorecard here

The Versace safety pin dress worn so famously by Liz Hurley at the Four Weddings and a Funeral premiere seemed to be the main inspiration for Dave ‘Versace’ Boxer’s summer cricket wear collection yesterday evening, with an interesting twist.

Gaping holes adorned the seams of his flannels but minus the safety pins, a trifling point, perhaps, but not to the canny fashion observer for whom the devil is always in the detail.

Just as ‘That Dress’ sparked an obsession with lady lumps; it was Dave who was in the mood for taking lumps out of the batsmen.

Having had several disgruntled appeals for leg before turned down, the sight of Sergeant Summers taking guard and bristling with intent had Matt frantically googling the number for the ‘24 hour London Colney Dentist’.

Sergeant Summers stood resolutely and unblinkingly at the crease slicing his first ball through the vacant gully and his second ball, as he might when apprehending a regular felon, ‘nicked again’, the ball squirting between keeper and slip. It wasn’t just that he was bowling from the Asylum End that was making Dave mad.

Dave was legally charged by Sergeant Summer’s, for whom Dave had no defence, the ball sailing high and straight towards the long on boundary.

Dave’s dark mood was not improved when big Malc pulled his leg, John picked up a brace with assorted long hops and Anil dropped his first of the night, proceeding then to become the first player in Fisher’s history to pick up a ‘Michelle’ for his fielding.

A strong Fisher’s contingent underpinned the Mylan team who were struggling for numbers, this was the opportunity for a number of the mid-week irregulars to shine, Boothy succumbed to a juicy, short wide one from ‘Boomerang’ Bob, cutting loftily to Watson who gratefully snaffled it somewhere within his new goatee (cultivated apparently to soften his appearance after an accident at the barbers the previous week had customers running out of his shop). The slow pitch and low bounce accounted cheaply for Keith.

Mylan amassed 116 with the pick off the Fisher’s bowlers James Nairne and Reevo with 2 a piece.

Fisher’s set out their stall with some belligerent hitting from Watson and some friendly fielding from Mylan who fielded as though they had just had a training session with Anil, but the run chase began to fade with some rash shot selection on a stodgy pitch.

Chris Ramsey was the mainstay of the middle order with one imperious on drive and assorted flicks of his hips, but when the opposition turned to Cormack to stifle the run challenge the innings was getting behind the clock. ‘Come on Ramsey it’s only Keith’.

Malc clubbed the ball around heroically on one leg until he was undone by a Keith full toss and a David Dredge reflex catch by at silly cover. Chris carried on the fight against the swift bowling of Brown, the spearhead of the Mylan attack. As the runs faltered, encouragement was offered; ‘Check the score Bambi’ ‘He can’t he’s got his eyes shut’. Chris eventually succumbing to the pace and hostility of Brown.

As Bungle came to the crease on the longest day of the year, his became the shortest stay of the innings; Booth had a cunning plan, placing a deep square leg and dropping his first ball short; John duly obliged putting the ball down David Dredge’s throat. (Anil was later seen exchanging numbers with David after the game and overheard ‘You make it look so easy – what is your secret?’)

31 of the last over was always going to be a tall order – all the same with 3 dot balls against Anil’s name it was hardly the time to be playing for your average.


Champagne moment: David Dredge’s reflex catch to dismiss Malc.

Silly point: The gorgeous Hollywood leading lady Michelle Pfeiffer has apparently never seen a game of cricket. Batsmen meanwhile should aspire to acquire a ‘Jennifer’ as in “a nice ton”.